no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
