i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
