I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
