What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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