piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize