She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So vagazzling was a success
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize