Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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