Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
