I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
