Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
