Its about making memories worth repressing
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize