I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
