why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
