A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize