Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
