Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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