Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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