So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
