oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
