Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
