All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I touched a dick in church today
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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