he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
