It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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