I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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