Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
