I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize