it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize