Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
