Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
