I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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