i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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