I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
do herpes really smell.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
