Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
