I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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