no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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