So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
