OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize