I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
