Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She said her name was "party"
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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