the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
