I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
