What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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