im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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