if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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