There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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