I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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