I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My penis needs a shock collar
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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