Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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