She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Randomize
