Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
