he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
two words: eviction party
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
