Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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