yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm too high and old for this...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
