Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
