CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
