Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
