If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
