remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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