The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
