i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize