i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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