It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
