i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
