My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
